Not present

I feel like a ghost.

When you’re sick,
everyone says they don’t blame you,
but it cannot relieve the heavy burden -
the viral load -
that inescapably weighs upon you -
within you.

I can be present,
but I can’t get too close,
I can’t hold my baby or kiss my wife,
I daren’t even open my mouth to speak
for risk of sharing more than words.
So I am mute, out-of-reach, untouchable,
unable to support my family,
unwilling to cheer up or smile, as requested,
for I am a ghost.
I am good only for haunting.